Weekly Diary : Week 46
20 April 2026 (Monday) :
21 April 2026 (Tuesday) :
22 April 2026 (Wednesday) :
23 April 2026 (Thursday) :
24 April 2026 (Friday) : A Quiet Day, A Loud Responsibility
I got my periods in the morning itself, and with that, the whole day felt heavy. Not just physically, but mentally too. I didn’t feel like doing anything. Not writing. Not even pretending to be productive. So I didn’t. I just let the day pass quietly. Most of my time was spent with my little sister. We talked here and there, small things, random things. Nothing serious, but somehow it felt enough for the day.
Then things shifted. She had applied for part-time jobs, and today she got a call from HR. Her interview was scheduled. My brother was at the office, and my parents were at work. That left just the two of us at home. So naturally… it became my responsibility to drop her.
We left together. On the way, she started asking questions—what kind of questions they might ask, how she should present herself, what she should say, what she should avoid. I listened quietly and answered whatever I could. Simple and basic things. But I could sense it—she was nervous. I dropped her at the interview location, and she went inside. I stayed outside.
There wasn’t much to do, so I put my earbuds in and started listening to random songs from my liked playlist. Time passed slowly. I didn’t think much. Just wait. After some time, she came out. She looked… happy. She said she could join from tomorrow. I nodded. But inside, a small doubt rose immediately. That fast? It didn’t make complete sense. She had just turned 18, and her documents were still not updated. For a moment, I wondered if they would actually consider her or if something was being overlooked. But I didn’t say anything. She was smiling and a little proud of herself. And I didn’t want to take that away. So instead, I treated her with Franky and ice cream. She enjoyed it like it was a small celebration. And I just watched her, quietly.
We went back home together. She kept talking the entire way—about the place, the people, the questions, everything. I didn’t interrupt. I just nodded, carrying her bag, and listening.
25 April 2026 (Saturday) : The Things I Didn’t Say
It was my second day, and just like yesterday, I didn’t do anything. No studies. No writing. Nothing productive. The kind of day where time moves, but I don’t. I was just… there.
Then in the afternoon, my sister came back from her part-time job. The moment she spoke, I already knew what she was going to say. They needed documents before she could officially join. As expected. I nodded, listening quietly. But inside, something shifted. A small weight settled in my chest… Guilt. Because I had thought about this yesterday itself. I had doubts. I knew things might not be that simple. I even considered telling her. But I didn’t. She looked so happy. And I chose silence over breaking that moment.
Now, standing there, I wondered—should I have told her earlier? Maybe it would have saved her this small disappointment or maybe… it would have taken away her happiness before it even fully formed. I couldn’t decide which would have been right. And maybe that’s my mistake.
Apart from this, another message came. HOD ma’am texted that admissions for MSc have started. I read it once. Mice texted me. After a short chat, we decided that we would go for enquiry on Monday. Another step and another decision waiting ahead.
26 April 2026 (Sunday) : A Morning That Broke Me, A Day That Held Me Together
I woke up feeling… empty. Not sleepy. Not tired in a normal way. Just weak—as if all the strength had quietly left my body overnight. Even sitting up felt like effort. There was a slight cramp, followed by a dull back pain. Still, I pushed myself to get up. I told myself it’s nothing. I freshened up, brushed my teeth, and went to take a bath. That’s when everything changed.
For a moment, the world tilted. My head started spinning, and before I could process it, I sat down, holding my head tightly. My eyes felt heavy. My body felt… disconnected, like it wasn’t listening to me anymore. I thought of calling my mother. But then I looked at myself. I had already taken off my clothes. I was sitting there, vulnerable, and suddenly… helpless. I stopped myself… I’ll manage, I thought. So I tried. I started to take a bath. My hands were trembling. My eyes didn’t want to stay open. Still, somehow, I managed to take a quick bath. But even after that, the struggle didn’t end. Hooking my bra felt like a task too big for my hands. My fingers shook. My head stayed low. For a few minutes, I just kept trying… failing… trying again. Finally, I managed. I wore my t-shirt and shorts, stepped out of the bathroom, threw my used pad in the dustbin… and the next moment, I collapsed on my bed. I was breathing heavily.
My mother came in, her voice filled with concern. “What happened? Is everything okay?” I told her I was feeling weak. She checked my temperature, thinking it might be a fever. But my body was cold. Only a thin layer of sweat covered my skin. I asked her for my medicines. And a painkiller for cramps. She hesitated. “Eat something first, even a little.”
I closed my eyes, irritation rising. “I don’t have the strength,” I said honestly. “I don’t want to eat. Just give me my medicine.”
She looked at me for a moment… and then agreed.
I sat up with effort. She handed me the medicines and a glass of water. I swallowed them immediately and fell back onto the bed, closing my eyes again. She told me to rest and went to the kitchen. I hummed in response, though I’m not sure if she even heard it. The house was still quiet. It was around 7 am. Everyone else was asleep. And I lay there… thinking. I knew the reason. I had been skipping my medicines for the past few days. Since my periods started. There was no solid reason… just a strange feeling. Every time I looked at those medicines, I felt like vomiting. So I avoided them. I told myself I would start again after my periods. But now, lying there, weak and breathless… I knew this was the result. Still, I felt relieved that my parents didn’t know. They would probably think it’s just because of my periods. I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep, hoping I would feel better when I woke up.
And I did.
When I woke up in the afternoon, I sat up slowly. My body felt lighter. Not perfect… but better than morning. The weakness wasn’t crushing anymore. The first thing I did was go to the bathroom. I fixed my bra properly this time. Something so small… but it made me feel a little more comfortable. Then I freshened up and ate something light. My mother had made poha. It felt strange to eat poha in the afternoon… but I liked it. Maybe it was just a craving.
Since I was feeling okay, I went back to my tasks. Most of my day went into completing my pending blogs. And today… I finally finished them all. I completed and published everything. And with that, a quiet sense of relief settled inside me.
