Weekly Diary : Week 34
26 January 2026 (Monday) : Between Slides, Doubts, and a Little Panic
Today I started by preparing for my part of the PPT. I had to send my content to our group as well, so I tried to keep it simple, minimal, and easy to explain. My only logic was even if I forget something during the presentation, I should be able to manage. While I was doing this, Tissue kept texting me asking doubts, questions and confusion about the bioinformatics project. So the whole scene became a little funny. One side I was making slides and the other side I was replying to her messages.
At one point, a girl from our group sent a complete PPT. I just stared at it. Bruh… If she had already prepared the entire PPT, including everyone’s part, she could have at least informed us. And here I was… sitting and making my slides instead of focusing on the bioinfo project. But then I realized that the PPT was made using AI. And she was asking to edit the first slide and add our group members’ names. So I just replied, “I’ll do it.” I edited it and sent it back. Since we are only three members, everyone agreed with the changes.
Meanwhile, I was still replying to Tissue and clearing her doubts. Then the same girl tagged me again. She asked if it’s possible to remove the watermark of the AI tool. I paused for a second. Then replied, “Yes, give me some time.” I worked on it. Removed it and sent it back. And finally… the PPT was ready. Approved by everyone. One less thing to worry about.
In between all this, Tissue suddenly asked, “Am I disturbing you? Are you doing something?”
I told her I was working on the PPT because tomorrow is our group presentation. She apologized and said she was disturbing me. I just smiled. Dumbo. If she ever felt like that, I would leave all this PPT work without a second thought. There’s no way she can disturb me. Even if I’m busy, I will always take time for her. So instead of texting, I called her and we talked.
I explained everything properly. What needs to be done and how to approach it. For a moment, I thought of sharing my written breakdown steps… But then I remembered my handwriting. I even struggle to read it sometimes. So explaining on call felt much better.
Evening came. And with it my kitchen duty. I washed the dishes. Prepared dinner. Then I washed the dishes again after dinner. Cleaned the kitchen. After finishing everything, I got a call from Tissue again where she asked more doubts. Tools like STRING, Network Analyst, Enrichr. She asked again, “Are you awake? Am I disturbing you?”
I told her I had just finished my kitchen work and was about to rehearse my PPT part. And that’s when it hit me, I wasn’t prepared at all. Suddenly, panic quietly entered. I told her, “Aisa lag raha hai jaise kal main college nahi… meri maiyat mein ja rahi hu.”
We both laughed. But somewhere, it wasn’t entirely a joke.
27 January 2026 (Tuesday) : When Preparation Meets Postponement
“Have you ever prepared yourself so much for something… only for it to not happen at all?”
Today felt exactly like that.
College was from 7:45 am to 12:15 pm, and today was supposed to be our PPT day. In the morning, I looked at the slides one more time, quietly wondering if I would actually be able to present it properly or not. That small doubt stayed with me like background noise.
In class, things were even more real. Tissue, Mice, and Dragon had already presented earlier, and I was the only one left in our circle. As the group before us was presenting, I was sitting there—half relieved, half tense.
Relieved… because one of our group members still hadn’t arrived.
Tense… because if she didn’t come, it might mean we would have to present her part too.
There were only three members in our group. And honestly, the thought of explaining someone else’s part—something I didn’t prepare—was quietly terrifying. I could almost see that same fear on my other group member’s face too.
Time passed. It was almost 10 o’clock. Break time was approaching. And then… her message came. She texted in the group that she wouldn’t be able to make it due to a family emergency and that she would talk to ma’am. She said sorry. Before I could even process that properly, ma’am announced that Group 10 won’t be presenting today and our PPT was rescheduled.
I just sat there. Happy… because now we didn’t have to present someone else’s part.
And at the same time, a little frustrated… because I had spent so much time yesterday preparing for something that didn’t even happen.
Ma’am then gave final instructions for tomorrow’s Food Processing & Analysis practical exam, which is from 8:30 to 11:00 am, with reporting time at 8:00 am. Just like that, my focus shifted from PPT to practicals.
In the evening, Tissue and I discussed all the experiments—what might come, what to write, and how to perform each one. It felt a bit grounding, like preparing together makes things slightly less overwhelming.
Later, Mice texted:
MICE: Maine gloves nahi liya hai
ME: No need for gloves for tomorrow’s practical exam. (There will be no staining or chicken liver experiment.)
At night, I quietly went through all the experiments one last time. No overthinking this time, just a calm revision. And then, I went to sleep.
28 January 2026 (Wednesday) : Between Lab Coats and Late Nights
Today started early, earlier than usual. It was the practical exam of our specialization subject—Food Processing & Analysis—from 8:30 to 11:00 am, and we had to report outside the lab at 8:00 am.
I woke up, did my revision quietly, took a bath, got ready, and had my medicine. But when I picked up my phone to text Tissue that I was about to leave… I noticed something. The Forest app was still running in the background.
SHIT. I forgot to stop it. For a second, I just stared at the screen. A small mistake, but it still annoyed me. I told myself I’ll be more careful next time.
As usual, Tissue and I met at the station. And like every exam day, we took an auto from the station to college. When we reached, there was still some time left. Everyone was already in class—journals open, lab coats placed on benches, some already wearing lab slippers.
Tissue and Mice started revising again. I didn’t. I knew myself. If I opened the journal again and tried to revise, I would just confuse everything I had already revised in the morning. So I opened it… and just looked at the pages without really reading anything. Sometimes, doing nothing feels like the safer option.
Soon, it was time. We all reported to our assigned labs—wearing lab coats, removing shoes, changing into lab slippers, tying hair into buns, carrying journals and essential stationery.
Mice and Dragon were assigned to the 3rd floor lab. Tissue and I were in the 4th floor lab. I noticed my seat and almost smiled to myself. Because of my roll number 10, I always end up in the front row. Even when I don’t try.
The practical itself was… okay. I was able to write the procedure and perform the experiment. Nothing extraordinary, nothing terrible. Just… okay. After it ended, everyone started discussing answers, comparing steps, overthinking results. I listened a little, then quietly stepped out of it. Some things are better left as they are.
When I reached home, I didn’t think much. I just slept. When I woke up, it was already evening. I checked tomorrow’s timetable which was 7:45 to 11:50 am. Just by looking at it, I decided I’m not attending.
Since it was already evening, I moved into my usual routine—washing dishes, doing household chores, preparing dinner. Somewhere between all this, my phone buzzed. It was from Tissue. She was frustrated with the bioinformatics project and had doubts. But almost immediately, she said she’ll ask later since I must be busy. I told her I was making dinner. She insisted she was disturbing me. I sighed and replied honestly, “Chawal ho gaya hai, daal ho rahi hai, aata gundh diya hai, sabji bhi gas pe chada diya hai… so I can talk to you.”
There was a pause. Then she replied that I’m the kind of daughter every mother wants. I chuckled softly at that. And then, just like that, I started explaining—tools, outputs, what screenshots to take… everything she asked.
After dinner, I quickly finished the rest of the chores like washing dishes, filling water bottles, and cleaning up. Since I had already slept in the afternoon, I decided to stay up at night. I took my medicine, but somewhere inside, there was a small worry. What if staying up has consequences? My parents always tell me to sleep on time. My mother even scolds me sometimes for staying up late. I sighed. But right now, I need to get through this bioinformatics project. And not just one, I’m doing two… Mine and Mice’s.
She has laptop issues, and after her surgery, she needs rest. I understand that. Tissue could have helped her, but Tissue herself has so many doubts in the research stage. I kept thinking… if this is just the beginning, what will happen during report writing, editing, and mentor approval? The thought stayed with me. And then, when everyone in my house was asleep, I quietly opened my laptop and started working.
29 January 2026 (Thursday) : One Night Before Everything Falls Into Place
Last night, I stayed up late working on my bioinformatics project. It sounds simple when said like that… but it wasn’t. I kept wondering, Am I not understanding it properly? Or am I just too slow? Because it was taking too much time.
By the time I slept, it was already late. And because of that, in the morning, I didn’t attend college. I didn’t even go to the library. I woke up around 7 am, but my body felt like it was still stuck in the night.
In the afternoon, I sat again with the same bioinformatics project. The same screen. The same confusion. Time passed quietly, and before I realized, it was evening.
And then… chaos started. It was about CA2. Our group hadn’t even decided on the product yet. And tomorrow was the presentation. We thought we would ask ma’am to extend the time. It felt like the only logical option. But before we could even plan that properly, a message popped up in the Official TY BT group from HOD ma’am: “CA2 will not be repeated again. Tomorrow will be the final presentation of your product.”
I just stared at the message. Maybe other students also asked for extra time… and this was her answer. That one message changed everything. Suddenly, the group became hyperactive. Messages started coming one after another. Calls, discussions, confusion… everything at once. We quickly decided on the product. Then divided the work—who will do charts, who will handle content, who will prepare what. I got the poster. And just like that, the night started.
The chaos was so intense that all of us—me, Tissue, Mice, and Dragon—stayed up till around 2 am. No overthinking, no perfection. Just finishing whatever we could. And somehow… we did it. We completed this CA2 assessment in one night, just before the presentation. It almost feels funny when I think about it. Funny… and a little exhausting.
But what really irritated me was something else. Even in the middle of all this, messages kept coming in the Practical group—more journal content, more images for the remaining two subjects. And I just sat there thinking… PPT, bioinfo project, CA2, journal… back to back. Like we’re not even allowed to pause.
Sometimes it feels like we’re expected to function like machines. But I know I’m not one.
30 January 2026 (Friday) : CA2 Chaos
College was from 7:45 to 10:00 am, and from 10:30 am onwards, we all had to set up our stall in the quad area for the presentation. But instead of attending lectures, Tissue, Mice, Dragon, and I decided to directly go to the quad area and start setting up.
As usual, Tissue and I texted before leaving home and met at the station. We reached college early and went straight to the engineer stairs, where all of us had decided to meet before entering the quad—just to make sure everything was ready.
Tissue and I reached first. She casually told me to present the product from our group. For a second, I hesitated. Then I thought… Maybe I can do it. Before I could settle on that thought, Mice arrived with the labels, and we started labeling our products. Dragon, as always, was late—but this time, she was important because she had the chart. Thankfully, she soon reached.
Around 11:00 am, we entered the quad area. And I just… stopped for a moment. Some stalls were already set up. And there was a crowd followed by a lot of students. I had thought only faculty would come. But it looked like the whole college was there. So this is what they meant by presentation?! I didn’t say anything, but inside, I was stunned. Still, I didn’t panic because Tissue, Mice, and Dragon were with me. Not outside, at least.
We reached our corner spot and started setting up the stall. My eyes kept moving, observing others. And slowly, without warning, my hands started to tremble. I quietly slipped them into my hoodie pockets. No one noticed or at least, I hope they didn’t. After a moment, I walked up to Tissue and asked her if she could present instead of me. She got irritated instantly and said, “Why step back at the last moment?” I expected that. Anyone would react like that. Still, I asked again. And after a few attempts, she agreed. I felt… relieved and very thankful.
Once the faculty started coming, Tissue took the lead. She handled everything—explaining our product, answering questions, presenting confidently. She did the heavy work without showing any hesitation. Whenever someone came to our stall, she managed it effortlessly. I stood there, helping where I could, but mostly just observing. I don’t want to go into too much detail about the presentation. It was honestly a headache for me. But eventually… It ended.
We took a GeoTag photo with our products, poster, and group, and uploaded it on GC. By around 12:30 pm, we wrapped everything up and closed our stall. And then came a small relief. Ma’am texted that tomorrow’s lectures are online from 8:15 am to 12:15 pm.
When I reached home, I freshened up and lay down on the bed. My head was hurting.
Evening came, and like always, I moved into my routine—washing dishes, preparing dinner. Today, I made dinner a little early. And then, I sat again with my bioinformatics project.
The day ended quietly, just like it started.
31 January 2026 (Saturday) : A Day Full of Wasted Effort… and Confusion
Today there were online lectures, but honestly, my focus was somewhere else. I kept working on my bioinformatics project alongside it. Even after the lectures ended, I didn’t stop. I had already decided—today, I will finish this.
I completed Mice’s report first. Her originally chosen disease was IgA Nephropathy, but there was a problem. The gene list wasn’t enough for the project. Ma’am had clearly said we need at least 30 genes. So I had to change her disease. I chose CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease) instead. At first, I thought I should tell Mice immediately. Then I stopped myself. I felt… maybe I should inform her after completing the report. Otherwise, she might take unnecessary stress, and considering her health, that wouldn’t be right.
But when I finally told her, I was honestly scared. My mind went everywhere. What if she gets angry? What if she says I should have told her earlier? What if she stops talking to me? She stayed silent for a moment. And in that one moment, my brain created worst-case scenarios. But then… she simply asked if her mentor had approved it, since she had already confirmed IgA Nephropathy earlier. Then she said something I didn’t expect. She told me the disease I chose, which is CKD, is actually good and suitable for the project. There won’t be any issue. She even said a big thank you.
I felt… relieved. But at the same time, something else started bothering me. I felt slow. Like I was taking too much time. Like maybe I’m not doing things efficiently. I didn’t know whether to call it being slow… or just not smart enough.
In the afternoon, I continued working. This time on my own report. My chosen disease is NASH. While I was working, Tissue called me. She had doubts about tools like Enrichr and Reactome. We switched to a video call, discussed everything, cleared doubts, and just like that… hours passed.
Then in the evening, she called again, this time asking how to actually prepare the report. I told her the truth. I don’t even know. I’m just doing it based on my own understanding. And just like that, our conversation slowly turned into complaints about college, the department, and the lack of clarity from faculty. At some point, I decided to call one of my classmates, the same one from our Food Processing & Analysis presentation group.
And what she told me… just stopped everything. She said, “Don’t make the report yet.” I was like what? Why? The deadline is today. I had spent my entire day on this. She explained that there is huge chaos happening. Mentors are not clear. Everyone is saying different things. Some say one thing, others say something else. Even if someone claims they confirmed with HOD ma’am, mentors are telling students to follow only their assigned mentor’s instructions. No clarity. Just confusion. She told me to just take screenshots of outputs. Don’t waste time making the report.
I asked about the deadline. She said, forget it. Most students are not submitting anyway. And now, suddenly, they are asking for plagiarism reports and reference papers to upload on GC. I just sat there, listening. She was also complaining about the department. Then I thanked her, cut the call, and immediately called Tissue. I told her everything. We were both… freaked out. Like why can’t they just clearly tell us what to do?
After that, I shut down my laptop. I didn’t feel like continuing anymore. I went to sleep. All day, I was trying to finish this project, to finally get rid of it. And now… it felt like all that effort was wasted. At least if I spend time on my novels, it won’t feel like this.
01 February 2026 (Sunday) : A Morning That Felt Too Real
I woke up around 8 am, but not peacefully. I had a dream—no, more like a nightmare. I was surrounded by snakes. So many snakes. I don’t even know where I was. I can’t explain that place. All I remember is that they were everywhere. Small ones. Big ones. Thick, heavy ones. They were wrapped around my whole body. I couldn’t move. It felt real. Too real. And then… one snake slowly moved from my waist to my neck. And it bit me.
I woke up instantly.
Before I could even think, my hand reached my neck, as if checking whether it really happened. For a moment, I actually felt like I had been bitten. It took me a few seconds to realize. It was just a dream. I got up and went straight to the mirror, checking my neck again. There was nothing. Still… What was that? What a way to start a Sunday morning.
I freshened up, took a bath, washed my hair, had breakfast, and helped my mother with the usual morning chores. Everything went back to normal, but somewhere, that feeling from the dream stayed quietly in the background.
I didn’t do much today. I just picked a random book from my drawer and started reading. Watched some random YouTube videos. A slow day, finally.
In between, Mice texted me. She needed screenshots of outputs from the tools and other necessary things for the bioinformatics project. It was already there in the report, but she wanted it separately, just in case her mentor asks. So I gathered everything. All the screenshots of results and outputs, and even a rough draft with minimal writing with just findings and results. I uploaded it all to my drive and shared the link with her.
Evening came, and I used that time to complete some pending journal work. Nothing extraordinary happened after that. But the day stayed with me because of how it started.
