Weekly Diary : Week 32
12 January 2026 (Monday) : Running, Checking, Correcting… and Still Not Done
Tissue and I took an auto from the station to college. We usually don’t do that. We prefer walking. But today wasn’t a usual day. It was journal checking day. And more importantly, we still had to verify whether we had stuck the images correctly or not. So, saving time felt necessary.
After reaching college, Mice and Tissue went to the washroom because Mice had a doubt that she got her periods. In that small gap, I went ahead and checked my journal with one of the topper’s journal. I checked page by page, comparing both journals. And when I realized that my images were in the correct order and on the correct pages… I felt relieved.
When they came back, I told them. All of us felt lighter. For a moment. But that moment didn’t last long. During the signing process, ma’am kept telling us to make changes again and again. Small corrections. Sudden instructions. And we were all just standing there, slightly stressed, slightly confused. Why couldn’t this be told earlier? But still, we did whatever was asked.
In the end, both journals of BR & MJ ma’am got corrected. And that felt like a win. Then came another message—Tomorrow is an online lecture from 7:45 to 10:00 am. Usually, online lectures are on Wednesday. But this time, it’s on Tuesday. Just another unexpected change.
And as if the day wasn’t already full of updates, ma’am also texted that the 4th-year orientation is postponed and rescheduled to 19/01/2026 from 11:00 am to 1:00 pm. Dates shifting and plans adjusting. Everything is moving quietly.
After coming home, I finally felt a little refreshed. But that didn’t last long either. Tissue texted me about CA1 notes. And my honest response was, “I am dependent on you bro.” We discussed everything—syllabus, what to study, reference books.
Later, Mice also texted. She was confused about the CA1 syllabus.
Mice: You said, BR ma’am ka 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2,, but official TY BT pe to 2.3 hai instead of 2.2. Why?
Me: Maine ek topper se pucha, usne bola ki ma’am ne online me kaha tha ki 2.3 hai, so syllabus is 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.3. Lekin safe side ke liye 2.2 ka rough overview kar lo.
Ahhh!! Even after everything, confusion still remained.
13 January 2026 (Tuesday) : Studying Without Feeling Like Studying
“Have you ever sat down to study… and realized your mind just doesn’t want to cooperate?”
That was me today.
There were online lectures, and honestly, I was glad about it. It was my third day of periods, and for me, that usually means heavy flow. So being at home felt easier. Still, even with that comfort, there was something else sitting in the background, tomorrow is our CA1 exam. First subject is Research Methodology and Biostatistics.
The seating arrangement and guidelines were already shared in the group. Everything was set. Except my mindset. At some point, Tissue and I were talking, and we both admitted the same thing—We weren’t studying.
Not because we didn’t have time. But because we didn’t feel like studying. And that felt strange. Like knowing what you should do… but still not doing it.
In between this, Mice texted—
Mice: GP sir ka unit 1 whole theory hai na?
Me: Yes, only theory, no numericals.
Mice: Tu kaise padh rahi hai?
Me: By referring to GC notes.
Simple conversation. Straight to the point. But even after saying that, I knew I wasn’t fully focused. I was just… doing the bare minimum.
14 January 2026 (Wednesday) : One Small Mistake, One Short Exam, and a Quiet Realization
I woke up early and revised whatever I could. Not everything. Just enough to feel a little prepared. Then I got ready—took a bath, had my breakfast, and took my medicines.
I met Tissue at the station, and we took an auto to college. The idea was simple—reach early and revise one last time. That “one last revision” always feels important. The moment I sat on the stairs, I opened my phone. And that’s when I saw it. The Forest app was still running in the background. Which means… I forgot to stop it.
SHIT!!
A small mistake. But it bothered me more than it should have. I just paused and thought that I need to take care of this next time.
After that, Tissue and I revised one last time and then went to class. The exam started. It was… okay okay. I was able to answer everything. But time was short. So my handwriting got worse as I kept rushing to finish. Not my best. But not my worst either. Somewhere in between.
After the exam, ma’am shared the dates of the upcoming papers. And just by looking at it, it was clear that the next upcoming days are going to be full of college stuff. No breaks in between. Except one because tomorrow is a holiday. That felt like a small pause before everything continued again.
15 January 2026 (Thursday) : A Holiday That Didn’t Feel Like One
“Is it really a holiday… if your mind is still stuck in studies?”
That was today. It was officially a holiday. But it didn’t feel like one. I spent almost my entire day just trying to get an overview of Pharmacology & Neurochemistry. Not even deep studying—just understanding what is there. And honestly… The syllabus felt too vast. It didn’t feel like CA1. It felt like I was preparing for a semester exam. Page after page, topic after topic, it just kept going. And somewhere in between, I realized I wasn’t feeling confident. Just… overwhelmed. At one point, Tissue and I started talking. Not about studying properly. But about frustration. It felt a little lighter after that.
In the evening, we talked again. Nothing too serious this time. Just normal conversation. And then something small happened, but oddly memorable. We both sent the same emoji at the exact same time.
For a second, I just stared at the screen. She also noticed. We both were surprised. Then she told me to take a screenshot and put it in my blogs. I smiled a little. Such a small thing… but it made the day feel less heavy.
16 January 2026 (Friday) : The Exam That Didn’t Feel Familiar… and a Small Thing to Look Forward To
I didn’t wake up early in the morning. No extra revision. No last-minute panic. Tissue and I left home together, met at the station, and took an auto to college. On the way, we revised whatever we could. Not everything. Just whatever came to mind. It felt enough at that moment.
But the exam… The exam was something else. As I looked at the paper, one thought kept repeating in my mind… Where did these questions even come from?
I tried. I really did. But at some point, I just gave up trying to find perfect answers and started writing whatever I could think of. Not confidently. Just… writing. By the end of it, I already knew. I will hardly pass. Maybe just one digit marks in Pharmacology and Neurochemistry. That realization wasn’t loud. Just quiet acceptance.
After the exam, Tissue and I talked. Not about how good it went. But about tomorrow’s subject. Because there’s no pause. It just continues. At the end of our conversation, I asked her about that book ‘As Long As the Lemon Trees Grow.’
She told me to wait because she had texted her cousin for permission. So I waited. After a few minutes, she texted again saying permission granted. And I don’t know why, but I felt genuinely happy. Like I suddenly had something to look forward to. Because for me, reading a book after exams feels like a small celebration. A quiet reward.
One thing I couldn’t ignore though, I didn’t study PTC for the CA1 exam. And I know that will come back to me soon.
17 January 2026 (Saturday) : The Last Exam… and No Time to Pause
Today was the last CA1 exam. As usual, Tissue and I met at the station and took an auto to college. It has become a routine now—less talking, more quiet revision. We did one last revision before entering the class. Nothing intense. Just going through whatever we could remember.
Then the exam started. And luckily… it was okay. I was able to write. Even though I didn’t know the exact answers, I still managed to fill the paper with whatever made sense in my head. Not perfect. But enough.
After the exam, instead of feeling completely free, there was another message waiting. HOD ma’am texted in the TY Official BT group: “Students under me for the bioinfo project should come and meet me at the staffroom after the exam. Kindly note that the last date for submission of the research paper of the project is 25th Jan 2026, before it has to be approved by your guide.”
I read it slowly. So even before exams are fully over… the next responsibility is already standing in front.
Later, in the UNOFFICIAL TY BT group, one of the guys from our class shared detailed guidelines for the Bioinformatics research project. What sections to include. How many words each section should have. Everything is structured.
And in between all this, the Practical Group didn’t stop either. More experiments. More journal content.
It hadn’t even been one full day since exams started ending… and still, new work kept coming. I felt a little overwhelmed. Like… Can we just breathe for a moment? But there was no pause. No break. So I didn’t think too much about it. Instead, I spent my whole day reading the book I got from Tissue, ‘As Long As The Lemon Trees Grow.’ And for those few hours, everything else felt a little distant.
18 January 2026 (Sunday) : Not Wanting to Go… But Going Anyway
I woke up late—around 7:13 am. I took a bath, had my breakfast, and took my medicine. Everything felt slow and quiet. After that, I sat down to write some journal content that was sent yesterday. Not a lot. Just enough to feel like I’ve started.
Later, I did some household chores.
And then, without realizing much, I ended up reading the book again. That book has quietly become my escape these days.
In between all this, I knew one thing, tomorrow college is from 7:45 to 11:05 am. And MJ ma’am had texted that we will get the proper write-up of her last experiment which is sensory evaluation. That’s when it hit me. How could I forget that last experiment of Food Processing & Analysis? All her experiments are done. Except that one. And because of that, the index is still not signed. I paused. Still… I didn’t feel like going tomorrow.
I thought I’ll just ask Tissue about experiment 8 later. Simple workaround or at least, that’s what I planned. But then, BR ma’am texted, “The orientation session is scheduled tomorrow, please be present.” And just like that, my plan dropped. I don’t want to go. But I have to. Because I don’t want to get scolded by ma’am.
On the other side, Tissue texted me asking about the last date of journal certification. And I just replied in my head, “Bahan, journal content diye ek din bhi nahi hua aur tum last date puch rahe ho.” I didn’t say it exactly like that. But I felt it. Maybe she also doesn’t want to go tomorrow. Maybe we both are just trying to find reasons to avoid it.
But still… We’ll go.
