Weekly Diary : Week 45
13 April 2026 (Monday) : The Last Paper, The Last Line
“Does the last exam really feel like an ending… or just another page being closed quietly?” I asked myself this while turning the last page of my answer sheet today.
It was the final paper—Tissue Culture and Developmental Biology. I sat there, pen in hand, as the paper was placed in front of me. I started writing. As always, the answers came. Not perfect, not extraordinary… but enough. Enough to fill the pages. Enough to move forward. The paper was lengthy. For a moment, I thought I might not finish it on time. My hand moved faster than usual, trying to keep up with the ticking clock. Line after line, page after page—I kept writing until I finally asked for an extra sheet. Then another.
Somewhere in between, I noticed my handwriting. It was already bad on normal days. But today… it had crossed a different level. The letters were rushed, uneven, almost tangled with each other. For a second, I paused and looked at what I had written. Will ma’am even understand this? I almost laughed at that thought. But there was no time to fix it. So I continued anyway. Because sometimes, finishing matters more than perfecting.
And just like that… It ended. No dramatic bell in my head. Just the actual one ringing, and the supervisor collecting the papers. I tied my extra sheets with the main one and handed it over. Finally, round 2 exams are done.
I walked out of the classroom quietly, the way I had entered. After that, I went to the library.
I returned the books I had issued earlier. One by one, I placed them on the counter. I didn’t say much. Just nodded and left.
14 April 2026 (Tuesday) :
15 April 2026 (Wednesday) :
16 April 2026 (Thursday) :
17 April 2026 (Friday) : Waiting, Worrying, and Walking Away
Today was the paper showing for Round 2 exams. The timing was from 10:00 to 10:45 am. Last night, Mice and I had decided that we would go together. Even though both of us were scared—what if we failed?—we still chose to face it.
I reached college early. And without thinking much, my feet took me to our usual spot—the engineering stairs. I sat there quietly, waiting for Mice. Watching people pass by. Watching time move slowly. Then, my phone buzzed. A message from HOD ma’am: Students who are coming for paper showing kindly note that if you don’t reach by 10:35 am, you will not be shown your papers, as the papers will be submitted to the exam cell.”
I read it once. Then again. And just like that, panic slipped in. 10:35? But the timing was till 10:45… then why change it suddenly? I immediately called Mice. She said she would take another five minutes to reach. Then she added, “If you want, you can go ahead.” I paused. For a second, I thought about it. Going alone. Getting it over with. But something inside me didn’t agree. “I’ll wait,” I said. And I meant it. A small thought crossed my mind—what if I go alone? But I pushed it away just as quickly. We had decided to go together.
After a few minutes, she called again, asking where I was. Instead of explaining, I simply said, “Meet me at the lift on the 3rd floor. We’ll go to J302 together.” And we did. We met there. We put our phones in our bags, left the bags outside the class, and walked in together. Inside, we saw our papers. One by one silently scanning marks, checking answers, understanding where we stood. And then… It was done. We stepped out. We passed with good marks.
After that, I gave Mice the books I had brought in the morning, placing them in her hands without saying much.
Her brother was there to pick her up on a scooty. She looked at me and suggested, “I can drop you at the station.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m fine. Thank you.”
She insisted again. And again, I refused. Finally, she nodded. We waved goodbye. She left with her brother on the scooty. And I… chose to walk.
18 April 2026 (Saturday) : The Night I Knew I Was Dreaming… and Still Couldn’t Escape
“What if you know it’s just a dream… but your body still believes it’s real?” That’s how my night began. I woke up suddenly, but not really. Because before that… I was already awake inside the dream.
I was standing somewhere, or maybe just existing. I don’t know what that place was. There was nothing—no walls, no ground, no sky. Just black. A complete void. And in that darkness… there were figures. Not clear. Not human. Just shadows. Shapes of someone, but without identity. I couldn’t tell who they were or what they were. Only that they were there. And then… They started moving towards me. Slowly their hands stretch out. Something inside me froze. I wanted to step back, to run, to do anything—but my body didn’t listen. It felt like I was paralyzed. Like I was trapped inside myself. I tried to move. I tried to scream. Nothing. I just stood there, watching those shadows come closer and closer. And then… their hands almost reached my neck. That’s when I woke up.
My eyes opened instantly. But I didn’t move. For a few minutes, I just lay there, staring at my surroundings. My room. The familiar walls. The ceiling. Everything looked normal. But my body didn’t feel normal. Even after waking up, the fear didn’t leave. It stayed. Like something had followed me out of that dream. I still felt like I was being watched. Like someone was there. Like at any moment… something would reach out and choke me again. My heartbeat was slow but heavy. My body is stiff. I didn’t dare to move at first. Then I looked at the time… 2:30 am.
The whole house was silent. And in that silence, my thoughts grew louder. I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So I turned and hugged my mother. Without saying anything. Just holding on. Because even though I knew it was just a dream… It didn’t feel like one. The strangest part? I was aware. Inside the dream, I knew I was dreaming. I remember forcing myself to wake up. Like I was fighting to come back. And I did. But even after waking up… the feeling didn’t leave immediately.
19 April 2026 (Sunday) :
