Weekly Diary : Week 42
23 March 2026 (Monday) : Simple Outfit, Unexpected Turns
Today was supposed to be about something small like choosing an outfit for farewell. But somehow, it turned into a day full of tiny decisions and unexpected calls.
I spent almost the entire day being confused about what to wear. Saree? Something else? Nothing felt right. So, I did what I always do when I don’t want to decide, I passed the responsibility to my little sister. She’s better at these things anyway. I told her the theme was Indo-Western. As expected, she didn’t like it at all. Honestly… even I thought it was the worst theme. Without thinking much, I shifted the headache to her. Now it was her job to decide what I should wear for tomorrow. She kept asking about my choices, and I just sat there like… whatever you choose, I’ll wear it.
She suggested a saree. I immediately said no. Not because I hate it… but because I don’t feel like myself in it. I prefer something simple. She gave me a look and I still don’t know what that look meant. Maybe she didn’t understand why I always avoid traditional outfits. But the truth is, I feel uncomfortable in them. My walk… it doesn’t match. It never does. Whenever I wear something traditional, people don’t compliment me. They correct me. “Walk like a girl.” “Show some grace.” “Don’t walk like that.” Those words stay longer than the outfit. So in the end, we chose something simple. Exactly how I wanted it. She still asked me one last time, “Are you really going to wear something this simple for farewell?” I just nodded. Because honestly… who even cares?
Then, in the middle of this normal day, something unexpected happened. I got a call from an unknown number. For a moment, I just stared at the screen. Then I called back. It was HR. She was calling to schedule an interview for the role I applied for—Junior Embryologist. For a second, I didn’t even know what to say. But then came the twist. She asked if I could come today itself before 5 pm. I immediately said no… and asked for tomorrow. She agreed between 12 to 5 pm and then the call ended. And I just sat there quietly. Tomorrow is my farewell… and I have an interview on the same day. Life really doesn’t wait for you to be ready.
In the evening, Mice texted me, asking what I’m wearing tomorrow. I sent her a picture. She replied—cute, beautiful, simple, decent. I smiled a little. Then she told me to do makeup. My smile dropped instantly. I didn’t reply immediately. Because in my mind, I was already thinking—I’ve barely done makeup in my entire life… What am I even supposed to do now? And on top of that, my mother would definitely have something to say. So I just sent a sad emoji and ended the conversation.
Then came Tissue. Same question. Same picture. But her reply was simple—beautiful. Our outfits even matched in color. And somehow, the conversation shifted… to something unexpected. Our walking styles.
Mine—boyish.
Hers—like a penguin.
We both laughed at that. The irony? We’ll be wearing traditional outfits tomorrow… and walking like this. She just said, “We’ll manage.” And somehow… that felt enough.
By night, everything slowed down. Around 1 am, we were still texting. I told her about the interview. And suddenly, the tone changed. It wasn’t about outfits anymore. It was about endings. About how everything is about to change. Farewell… interviews… new phases… It felt like we were standing at the edge of something.
24 March 2026 (Tuesday) : One Day, Two Worlds
“How can one day hold both a farewell… and a beginning?” Today felt like that kind of day.
Morning started quietly. I got ready for farewell. The timing was from 9:00 am to 1:00 pm. As expected, the moment my parents saw me in traditional clothes, the first thing they said was ‘behave like a girl… especially the way you walk.’ I just ignored it, said bye, and left.
Today, Tissue and I decided not to meet at the station. We would meet directly at the college gate. My brother booked a cab and dropped me there. At the gate, I met Tissue and Mice. Dragon, as always, was late. I guessed she would come with her boyfriend.
The venue was the assembly hall. But before going there, Tissue and Mice went to the washroom. I stayed outside… waiting. And waiting. And still waiting. I got a little irritated. What takes so much time? Finally, I went inside. And I stopped. There was a crowd. A lot of girls, all standing in front of mirrors. Some doing makeup, some fixing their hair, some adjusting clothes. It was clear by looking at them— today was farewell for both TY and MSc students. As soon as Tissue saw me, she handed me her tote bag and started fixing her scarf. Mice was busy looking at herself from different angles. I just stood there for a moment… then stepped out.
It felt suffocating inside. So I waited outside with her bag.
A few guys passed by. I noticed their gaze on me. Suddenly, I became conscious. I adjusted myself. The way I stood… the way I held myself. ‘Act like a girl. Behave like a girl.’ I kept repeating it in my mind.
After 15–20 minutes, they finally came out. We went towards the assembly hall through the lift.
But just when we were about to enter… They went to the washroom again. I felt irritation rising again. They just came from there. I didn’t want to go… but still, I followed. Same thing again—mirror, adjusting, fixing. And I just stood there… this time thinking about my interview. I hadn’t prepared anything.
Finally, we entered the assembly hall and sat in the middle. Slowly, everyone gathered. The farewell started. Dance. Singing. Performances. It was nice… but my mind wasn’t there. It kept going back to one thought—the interview. As soon as it ended, everyone moved to the quad area for photos. We clicked pictures—Tissue, Mice, Dragon, and me. Then Dragon stayed back. Mice, Tissue, and I left.
At the station, Gaajar was already there to pick me up. He said he would drop me to the hospital on time. He booked a cab so we could reach home quickly. I reached home, changed into formal clothes. I tried to tie my hair properly, but strands kept falling, so I settled for a simple low ponytail. He dropped me at the hospital.
I called HR to confirm where to report. She said the second floor, HR cabin. I went in. Handed over my resume and cover letter. The interview started. It went well… at least on the surface. But I noticed something. The moment she realized I was a complete fresher… There was hesitation. And I didn’t understand why. I had already mentioned it while applying. Yes, the role of Junior Embryologist is complex. I get that. But still… Why this reaction NOW? For the first time, I felt like I made a mistake by applying. HR asked me to wait because she wanted me to meet the senior embryologist. The doctor was in OT. So I waited.
I sat in the waiting area with Gaajar. Time passed slowly. I started observing everything around me—the reception staff, cleaning workers, nurses moving quickly, doctors walking in and out, a pregnant lady sitting quietly with her husband, people waiting, people hoping. Gaajar was on his phone. An hour passed.
I went back to HR and said, maybe I can come tomorrow. She apologized and agreed. So we left. On the way, Gaajar asked if I wanted to eat something. I said no. I am still on my medication. Always the same answer. But then, HR called again saying If I hadn’t gone far, I could come back and meet the doctor. So I turned back again.
This time, it was different. We kept moving—from the waiting area to the HR cabin, from OT to IVF center… walking, waiting, adjusting. Finally, the interview happened near the OT area, inside a counselling room. It went fine. But then she said it. Since I am a fresher, they would need to teach me first. I should complete my exams and come back on 15 April. Her words were polite. But her eyes… and the way she looked at HR… said something else. And at that moment, I understood. This was probably my last visit there. I walked out quietly. Inside, I just kept asking myself—Did I make a mistake?
After that, I told Gaajar I wanted to go somewhere before going home. He didn’t ask anything.
He just looked at me… and suggested Vadala lake. We walked there. It was evening. The sun had already set. I sat near the lake. He sat beside me. Neither of us spoke. For once… silence didn’t feel heavy. I was lost in my thoughts. About today. About what next. And before I even realized… a tear rolled down my cheek. I didn’t feel like crying. But it still came. I quickly wiped it before he could notice.
We went home. I changed into a t-shirt and shorts. Dinner was ready. My mother asked about the interview. I just said, “It was okay.” But I knew the truth.
At night, around 8 pm, Tissue texted me. She asked about the interview. I told her a few things… but not everything. Some things are easier to say in person. Then slowly, the conversation shifted. From the interview… to us… To endings. To the fact that everything is about to change.
Today gave me two things at once. An ending… and a possible beginning. And maybe that’s what life is. It doesn’t wait for you to finish one chapter before starting another. Sometimes, it writes both on the same page.
25 March 2026 (Wednesday) :
26 March 2026 (Thursday) :
27 March 2026 (Friday) :
28 March 2026 (Saturday) :
29 March 2026 (Sunday) : Small Changes, Quiet Adjustments
Today was simple… but not completely.
In the afternoon, I got my periods. It wasn’t unexpected, but still… my body felt a little heavier. My mother came and told me to try the pads she had brought. I hesitated. I don’t know why, but trying something new—even something small like this—always makes me pause. What if it feels uncomfortable? What if it doesn’t suit me? But still, I said nothing and tried it.
At first, it felt a little different. Not bad… just unfamiliar. I kept noticing it for a while, adjusting myself again and again. But slowly, I told myself—it’s okay… let’s see how this goes. Sometimes, I realize I resist small changes more than I should.
In the evening, I shifted my focus to something else. I paid the fees and filled out the Round 2 exam form. After completing it, I took a screenshot of the receipt, just to be safe. Nothing dramatic happened today. Just small moments of discomfort… and quiet adjustments.
