Weekly diary : Week 6
14 July 2025 (Monday) : A Day of Delays and Small Joys
Today, I woke up around 7 am, way later than I should have. The reason? Last night I stayed up until almost 2 am, working on my WeeklyDiary blog. Editing, formatting, adding images—it took so much time, but when I finally hit publish, it felt worth it. I had planned to work on my internship report too, but my eyes gave up on me. So, I just wrote down the points to include and surrendered to sleep.
This morning, instead of panicking and rushing, I made a decision—I texted Tissue that I’d be late and asked her not to wait for me at the station. I also told her I’d skip lectures and head straight to the library. She replied with a simple ‘okay,’ and I moved on to my to-do list, ticking things off one by one.
Later, Tissue and I went to the lab for our internship task—solution preparation. While we worked, I remembered that today was the day my friends were supposed to come home to meet my nephew. I was so excited about that. But soon, my excitement faded when I learned that Tissue will not be able to come because of guests at her home. Mice was recovering from operation, and Dragon was tied up helping her mother with a design project. So, only Batasha could come—and she was bringing her little sister along.
Honestly, I was happy she was still coming. When Batasha arrived, she surprised me with a gift for the baby, saying it was from her and Tissue. That gesture really touched me—it showed how thoughtful she is. The three of us played with the baby, laughed, and shared those little moments that make memories warm. My mother cooked matar paneer and poori, and we all ate together. It was delicious.
By 4 pm, it was time for Batasha to leave. I dropped them at the auto stand, hugged her, and told her to text me when she got home safe. She smiled and promised she would.
Today wasn’t perfect—plans changed, people couldn’t come—but it was still beautiful in its own way. I got to see the baby smile, share laughter, and feel gratitude for friendships that make even small gatherings special.
15 July 2025 (Tuesday) : A Day Of Headache and a Lot of Notes
Today I actually attended all my college lectures. That already felt like a small win after so many late starts and library days. When I reached home, I freshened up, ate, took a short rest, and then sat down with my notebook stack—the “missed notes” pile that’s been staring at me for days.
I told myself I’d just copy a few slides and move on to my other tasks. But once I began, I saw how much I had skipped. One topic led to another. Missing diagrams. Half-written definitions. Dates I hadn’t marked.
Hours passed. By the time I stopped, most of the day was gone—and my other tasks were still untouched.
All through this, I’ve also had a headache along with a bit of a cough and cold since morning. Nothing serious, I hope. I’m telling myself it’ll fade by tomorrow. But it did make focusing harder, and maybe that’s part of why everything took so long.
Looking back, I can see the cause and effect so clearly: all those days I bunked lectures… Today I paid for them in time, energy, and a throbbing head. Still, I’m glad and I did the work.
16 July 2025 (Wednesday) : When Rest Is the Only Work You Can Do
Today’s lectures were online, which should have made things easier—but my health was at its worst. I woke up with a sharp headache. My nose hurt, and because of coughing and cold congestion I couldn’t breathe properly through it. I spent most of the day breathing through my mouth, which made me feel even more drained.
I stayed through the lectures, but I was barely there mentally. The moment they ended, I gave in. I lay down and slept straight through to the evening. No tasks. No study progress. Nothing productive. Just sleep.
Pushing through when my body was already fighting would only make things worse. Before going to bed at night, I took medicine for the headache and decided to let tomorrow carry what today couldn’t.
17 July 2025 (Thursday) : The Day Papa Surprised Me
I didn’t attend lectures today. I could have forced myself to go, but I’m still recovering. The headache is gone, but my nose is blocked. I’m breathing through my mouth and I didn’t feel like attending lectures. So I skipped them and sat in the library instead. I planned to complete my to-do list, but I ended up giving most of my time to a task my brother Gaajar had handed me. It was related to Papa’s work—some billing and payment entries. Reading Papa’s handwriting was like decoding a secret code. Honestly, mine isn’t much better; Tissue always says my letters are so tiny that people can’t read them. Still, I managed to finish the work.
In the evening, I was in the kitchen washing dishes after dinner while Papa and Gaajar were talking about our garage business. I wasn’t trying to listen, but Papa’s words pulled me in like a magnet. He spoke about how he’s aging faster, how retirement is not far away, and yet, how he will continue working for his children, etc. about life stuff.
My heart sank a little. Standing there with wet hands and soap bubbles, I couldn’t stay silent.
“You’re right, Papa,” I called out from the kitchen. “But you should take a rest now. You and Mumma have taken care of us for so long—it’s our turn to take care of both of you. My graduation is still pending, but even now, I’ve cleared two job interviews. That restaurant job I got—it even offered free food and a place to stay for the staff. If you had allowed me to do it, I could’ve started earning something, no matter how small.”
Before I could say anything else, Gaajar jumped in, teasing me, “Oh, so that’s just so you could buy your precious KDSPY tool?”
I went silent—I hadn’t meant it like that. I wasn’t trying to hint anything. I was only trying to comfort Papa. But then he said something I didn’t expect: “Tomorrow I’ll give money to Gaajar. You buy that tool, bachha. And when I am here, you don’t need to do that job.”
I froze—shocked and happy at the same time. I really thought he had forgotten. He was worried about me juggling college with an outside job. Therefore, I had already started looking for online or work‑from‑home jobs on LinkedIn and even made custom resumes because I didn’t want to trouble him. And now… he agreed.
I quickly finished my chores, but my mind was somewhere else. Papa had just agreed to give money for the KDSPY tool. For a few seconds my thoughts ran ahead: What if I told him everything? I want to learn animation.I don’t want to do biotechnology anymore. I like writing. How would he react? Would he understand? Would he feel hurt that I’m thinking of a different path? I pulled myself back. I don’t think he would fully get it right now—not with his health worries, business stress, and everything happening at home. So I’ve decided to wait. I’ll keep doing my college work on the surface. When the time is right, I’ll tell Papa the whole truth.
Tonight I felt grateful—and also more responsible. His support means I have to use this tool well, learn, grow, and earn the trust he just placed in me.
18 July 2025 (Friday) : A Day Of Asking and Waiting
Have you ever attended a full day of college just to clear one doubt? That was me today.
I went to lectures because I needed help finding a few topics and subtopics in our reference book. I had searched, flipped indexes, double‑checked chapter lists—nothing. Tissue was absent today. So after lectures, I asked Manuka if she could help. We sat together in the library and started hunting through the same book.
To my surprise, she couldn’t find those topics either. That made me feel a little less stupid. Then she did something helpful: she told me to check another reference where those topics are covered in detail. She even sent me the PDF of that eBook. That small act saved me hours.
I came home, freshened up, ate, and sat down to work through my to-do list.
Then my phone rang. It was Gaajar. He told me the bank had closed before he could deposit the money. My heart dropped. Tomorrow is Saturday, and I wasn’t sure the bank would even be open. Sunday is a holiday, which means more delays. I could feel the frustration rising.
He added that the bank staff told him to come tomorrow—they would handle it. That gave me hope. I took a breath, ended the call, and went back to my work.
Today reminded me of two things: first, asking for help is not a weakness; it saves time. Second, delays happen—but most of the time they aren’t the end, just a pause.
19 July 2025 (Saturday) : Period Pain & A Purchase I’ve Wanted for Days
What do you do when a tough body day and a long‑time goal arrive together?
I woke up with that familiar wet, heavy feeling and knew—periods again. Day 1. Not my favorite start. Still, I got ready and went to college. I attended all the lectures, even though I wanted to curl up and sleep.
After coming home, I freshened up, ate, and went straight to something I’ve been waiting for: buying the KDSPY tool. I could have handled it alone, but when money, documents, bank details, or online payments are involved, I prefer doing it under my brother Gaajar’s observation. He doesn’t lecture; he just watches quietly and steps in when I ask. That kind of support feels safe.
We checked the payment options, and thankfully Amazon had PayPal. I already had a PayPal account—one of the better choices my past self made. Honestly, if I could go back and advise my younger self, I’d say: once you turn 18, update your Aadhaar card early, get your PAN card, open a bank account in your own name, and set up PayPal sooner.
We completed the purchase. Payment went through. I finally—finally—got KDSPY.
I didn’t wait. I opened the official site, watched their tutorials, read the install guide carefully, and set it up. It felt like one of those small yet powerful steps toward the future I keep quietly building.
Today hurt because of periods—but today also moved me forward. I’m grateful. Thank you, Rabba, for this day. Thank you for the tool, thank you for my brother’s help, thank you for my father’s help. Thank you so much.
20 July 2025 (Sunday) : A Tug-of-War
Today, I was supposed to check things off my to-do list, but like most Sundays, life had other plans. Instead of being productive in the usual sense, I found myself falling down the YouTube rabbit hole—videos about the KDP business, how to use KDSPY smartly, and strategies for success. It started as curiosity, but soon, it turned into something deeper.
I ended up checking the bestseller lists in the romance category. And to be honest… I felt disappointed. The top-selling books looked nothing like the stories I wanted to write. My stories are—slice-of-life, coming-of-age, sometimes even dipped in mystery or history. But the market? It wants something else.
That realization left me with a strange conflict in my heart: Should I write what I want to write or what sells?
I’ve been nurturing two story ideas—Days of Teen and The Diary—since my junior college days. They’ve lived inside my head for years, slowly evolving. I don’t rush them because I love diving deep—building characters, playing with plot twists, imagining endless possibilities. My friends—Tissue, Mice, Batasha, and Manuka—once read the first few chapters and asked when the next ones would be ready. I smiled and said, “soon,” but the truth is—I didn’t know. I still don’t know.
Because honestly? When I write for myself, I don’t care about timelines. But now… things have changed. I need money. And that means making choices.
So after wrestling with my thoughts all day, I finally made a decision: I will write what the market wants—for now.
That doesn’t mean I’m giving up on my own stories. It just means I’m choosing to earn first, and build the freedom to one day write exactly the way I want.
I also decided it’s time to show up on social media again, especially if I want readers to find my books. I had deleted all my accounts a long time ago because honestly, life feels lighter without them. But I guess it’s time to return—with purpose.
So, I reinstalled the apps. I’ll set them up tomorrow. Tonight, I need rest—college awaits me in the morning.
This week felt like a slow, quiet shift.
At the beginning of the week, I was just going through the motions—college, assignments, trying to balance everything.
Buying the KDSPY tool with Papa’s support was a small moment, but it stirred something bigger in me. It reminded me that dreams come with responsibility—not just to others, but to myself. I had to ask myself tough questions: Am I serious about this? Am I ready to do the work, even when things don’t go my way?
This week also brought confusion, especially when I explored the bestselling romance books on Amazon. The gap between what sells and what I love to write hit me harder than I expected. But by the end of the week, I stopped waiting for clarity to just arrive. I made a decision—to write for the market, for now—not because I’m giving up on my passion, but because I need a base to stand on first. I can always return to the stories I’ve carried in my heart for years, but right now, it’s about taking one step forward.
Installing social media again was another small act. I’ve always felt more grounded without it, but I also know that in today’s world, showing up online is a big part.
So if I were to wrap up this week in one sentence—it was about growing up quietly, without making a big deal about it. I’m still figuring things out, still making mistakes, but at least now, I’m moving with intention.
Here’s to being honest with where I’m at, and staying committed to where I want to go.
