Weekly Diary : Week 41
16 March 2026 (Monday) :
17 March 2026 (Tuesday) :
18 March 2026 (Wednesday) : A Diary, A Smile, and a Feeling I Couldn’t Name
Today was the mark showing of IDC. The timing was from 8:30 to 9:30 am. Tissue and I had planned to leave home at 7:30 am and meet at the station, like always. But in the morning, she texted me something unusual. She asked if we could go to the engineering stairs because she wanted to give me something. I asked her what it was. She didn’t tell me. She just said I’ll get to know soon. I didn’t push further. But somewhere inside, I kept wondering what it could be.
We reached college on time. The mark showing was in O104. There wasn’t much of a crowd. It felt like we had arrived early. Sir showed our marks. Both of us passed. And not just passed… we got good marks. We signed the sheet and stepped out. The moment we came out, Tissue told me that Mice had passed too. I was confused for a second. When did she check Mice’s marks? Sir was right there in front of us. Then she told me Mice couldn’t come, so she had asked her to check her marks as well. I couldn’t see them… but Tissue did. And now she was on call with Mice, telling her everything.
And then… we went to our usual spot aka engineering stairs. That’s when I remembered. The “something” she wanted to give me. I sat there, waiting, a little curious. She took out something from her bag which was wrapped. It looked like a gift. I took it in my hands. Just by touching it, I felt like it was a book or something similar. She was looking at me. And suddenly… I didn’t know how to react. I don’t usually receive gifts. So I didn’t know what people are supposed to say in moments like this. My mind went blank. I just kept smiling awkwardly, my eyes shifting between the gift and her face. I managed to say a small “thank you.”
I thought I would open it at home. But she insisted. So I slowly started unwrapping it. Meanwhile, she kept complaining about her bad wrapping. She said she did it last night in a hurry… thinking maybe this could be the last time we meet, so she wanted to give me something. I was hearing her… but not really listening. My mind was somewhere else, thinking—what should I say after this? How should I react? Finally, I removed the wrapping. It was a diary. For a moment… I just stared at it. I had no words. Nothing came out.
Seeing me like that, she quickly asked, “Did you like it?”
I immediately said, “It’s the best of best gift.” And this time, my smile wasn’t awkward. It came on its own. A big smile. The kind where my teeth show… my gummy smile… the one I usually feel insecure about. But at that moment, I didn’t care. Because even if I couldn’t say much… I could feel everything. And I think she understood that too. She sighed in relief and said, “Thank God you liked it.”
How could I not? It wasn’t just a gift. It was something… more. I had already decided that I will use this diary for my bucket list. I already have one diary, but this one… this will be special. Then she said something softly… that these three years went by so fast. I nodded. And just like that, memories started playing in my mind. We were strangers once. And then slowly… we started talking. Our first conversation was about Doraemon. We both laughed remembering that. Then we remembered everything—our weird sides, our clumsy moments, our random talks beyond studies. And in that moment… I felt something. Something I couldn’t name. Maybe this is what everyone felt that day… during the last lecture… when HOD ma’am got emotional… when people started crying.
I think I finally understood that feeling. But still… not a single tear came out of my eyes. And that hit me again… deep inside my chest. Why can’t I cry? Maybe because I’ve controlled it for so long. I don’t want to go into that. But somewhere… I just wanted to cry. Just once. Still, I didn’t.
And maybe… that’s okay. Because today, even without tears… I felt everything. And I keep thinking… Do emotions always need to be seen to be real, or is feeling them quietly enough?
19 March 2026 (Thursday) :
20 March 2026 (Friday) :
21 March 2026 (Saturday) :
22 March 2026 (Sunday) : A Late-Night Story & A Missed Twist
Today started simply. I went to Seawoods with my brother, Gaajar, to buy some books. And as always… he didn’t miss a single chance to irritate me. Joking, teasing, saying random things just to get a reaction out of me. It’s almost like this is his life purpose—to annoy his sister. And honestly, it’s just him being him. On the way there and back, nothing really changed. Same jokes. Same irritation. Same quiet acceptance from my side.
But the real part of the day was waiting at night. There was a story event on Discord. I wanted to join it… not to participate, but just to listen. To observe it. But the timing was the worst : 10:00 pm. Out of all the possible times… they chose this. And that too when it’s exactly my time to finish kitchen work at night. Mere raat ke bartan ghisne ka time. Still, I decided I would join. So I rushed through my work, finishing everything as fast as I could. Somehow, I managed to wrap it all up by 9:45 pm.
I put on my earbuds and joined the event. And then… nothing. Some people weren’t even there. Mods kept saying, “We’ll start in a few minutes.” I felt irritated. If there is a fixed time, why can’t people just be punctual? But anyway, after some delay, the event finally started. It was a progressive storytelling event. The mods gave a topic on the spot, and then each participant continued the story one by one. The idea itself was interesting. There were many participants. One by one, they spoke.
He was also there… he spoke. That guy aka Mister Stranger. The moment I heard his voice, something shifted inside me. A small, sudden pang. Guilt. Because he had once agreed to help me… and I stopped updating him. I had decided I would talk to him only after finishing all my novels. But still… hearing him again felt strange. And then I noticed something else. He was good. The way he narrated… his voice… calm, smooth, controlled. It held attention without trying too hard. I wasn’t really paying attention to most people. But whenever he spoke… I listened properly. His every word. And somewhere inside, I thought—I want to learn this skill.
Time kept passing. It got late as it was around 11:45 pm. I started wondering when this would even end. My eyes were getting heavy, slowly closing on their own. I tried to stay awake. I forced myself. But at one point… I lost. My eyes shut. I fell asleep in between. I don’t even know for how long. When I suddenly opened my eyes, people were talking about a twist. Everyone was reacting—“What a twist!”
“It changed the whole direction!”
“This could be animated!”
They were praising the person who introduced that twist. And I just sat there… confused. What kind of twist?! I had no idea what happened. I missed it. And instantly… regret hit. A small nap… and I lost the most important part.
The event finally ended around 2 or something. I didn’t wait for anything else. I just put my phone aside, closed my eyes, and went to sleep. And before sleeping, I made a quiet decision—Next time… if the event is at 10:00 pm, I’m not joining.
