Weekly Diary : Week 29
22 December 2025 (Monday) : The Thin Journal That Wasn’t Really Thin
I attended lectures today for a very specific reason which was not for learning, not for attendance, but for journal distribution. HOD ma’am had clearly texted that we had to collect the journals today itself after lectures.
So, I showed up. When I finally got the journal, my first reaction was pure relief. It’s so thin compared to all the previous journals, this one actually looked manageable. For a moment, I genuinely felt lucky. Like, maybe this time things would be easier.
But then reality gently tapped on my shoulder. This “thin” journal? It will soon become heavy—with all the sticking work, extra sheets, and long writing. And just like that, my happiness quietly packed its bags and left. Funny how quickly expectations adjust.
After coming home, I was still in that half-thinking, half-tired state when my mother insisted that I come and look at the tomatoes we had grown. I went, a little casually.
But when I saw them—I paused. They were small, green tomatoes. Not fully ripe yet, but still… something about them felt surprising. I had seen the plant earlier, but now seeing actual tomatoes growing on it felt different. Simple, but satisfying. I took a photo and sent it to Tissue.
Her reply? A song—“Aha tamatar bade majedaar…”
I couldn’t help but smile. Some replies don’t add information, but they still add mood.
After that, I slept.
When I woke up, I checked my phone and saw a message in the official TY BT group. HOD ma’am texted around 10:28 am—tomorrow’s lectures will be from 8:30 to 11:05. And out of those, two lectures are hers. She’ll explain what we need to do for the bioinformatics research project… which we are supposed to complete during the Christmas holidays.
I just stared at that for a second. Holidays… and project in the same sentence always feels slightly unfair. But okay. That’s how it is.
Later, I created the CA2 group for January. There are four of us—me, Tissue, Mice, and Dragon. It felt a bit organized. Like, at least something is planned on time.
Night came, and I had this sudden motivation. Let’s stay up late and finish pending work. A very ambitious thought.
But my body had other plans. There was a pain in my chest enough to make me pause. So I took my medicine and decided to sleep instead. No productivity, no late-night work. Just rest.
23 December 2025 (Tuesday) : The Morning I Ran… and Ended Up Holding Chicken Liver
I woke up at 4 am. It felt oddly peaceful. I decided to do a little writing, just to start the day quietly. For a moment, it felt like I had everything under control. Then I went to take a bath. And that’s where things slowly slipped. I washed my hair today… and that automatically means losing track of time. By the time I stepped out, reality hit.
I was late. I quickly called Tissue and told her to go ahead. I said I’d come, but I’d be late since I still had to eat breakfast. Usually, I could skip breakfast without thinking twice. But I had to take my morning medicine. So skipping wasn’t an option. I accepted my fate—late it is.
I hurried as much as I could and started walking fast towards college. When I checked the time, it was 8:36 am. The lecture started at 8:30. I increased my speed, almost speed-walking at this point, while also thinking of possible excuses to say to ma’am. My brain was busy preparing apologies. And then someone waved a hand in front of me. I looked up. A guy from my class. “Jaldi chal varna ma’am class me nahi legi, apan late hai,” he said while walking past me.
I immediately tried to match his speed. “Today you’re late too?” I asked.
“Mera to roj ka hai,” he replied casually.
Honestly, I don’t even know what else he said because I was too busy trying to keep up. It didn’t feel like walking—I practically had to run.
We somehow reached class around 8:42 am. Luckily, ma’am let us in. And to my surprise, many others were late too. She didn’t scold anyone. She just let us enter. All that running… unnecessary. I quietly cursed myself because my legs were already hurting. I went and sat with Tissue. She slid her bag and made space for me.
Honestly, on any normal day, I wouldn’t have attended after being this late. But today was important. There were instructions for the bioinformatics research project. So I listened carefully. I noted down whatever felt important, especially the tools we would be using. Even though, if I’m being honest, I only understood some parts. The rest felt… completely new. Almost like a different language.
At the end, ma’am shared an Excel sheet with our names and roll numbers. We had to choose a disease and mention it there so that it wouldn’t overlap with others. That part felt serious.
After that, we had 20 minutes.
And then came the practical. Everyone was in their usual routine—lab coats on, shoes off, lab slippers on, shoes neatly placed in the rack.
Today’s experiment involved… chicken liver. I don’t even know how to describe it properly. It was just… that kind of experiment. Groups were formed, and somehow, I ended up in the same group as that morning “fast-walking” guy. The moment I realized it, I looked at him. He was already looking at me—with a wide smile. I gave a small, forced smile back.
It felt a bit strange because even though we sit in the same lab row, we rarely end up in the same group. His roll number is 6, mine is 10. I guess some students were absent today, which is why we ended up in Group 2 together. Our group had four members—three girls, including me, and him.
Then came the twist. The other two girls refused to do the experiment because it involved chicken liver. They were pure vegetarians. I paused. Even though I’m vegetarian. I left non-veg years ago. But… refusing to perform the experiment? That felt strange to me. Even the guy was vegetarian, but from the way he looked at things, he seemed ready to do it. I didn’t want to do it either. But then I thought—I already don’t do much in regular practicals. So I couldn’t really say no today. And just like that, I agreed.
Those two girls sat aside. He sterilized the workstation, set up the burner, and then sat next to me. Since I was the only one with gloves, I had no escape. I wore them.
“Wash the chicken liver with saline first, between the burners,” he instructed.
I carefully followed, holding the liver with forceps in a petri dish. As I washed it, the red liquid started coming out. After a few washes, it stopped.
“Now add PBS and start chopping it into pieces.”
I did. While I was chopping, he suddenly said, “You have to hold the dissecting forceps at a 45-degree angle, as per ma’am’s instructions.”
I turned and gave him a look. He didn’t react, just showed the correct way in the air, like a demonstration. I sighed and corrected myself.
After a while, he said again, “We need finer pieces.”
I was about to respond, but he said, “Now it’s my time to show up.”
And just like that, we switched seats. I was relieved. But then I noticed—he wasn’t wearing gloves.
“You’ll need gloves,” I said.
“I’ll do it without gloves,” he replied casually.
And he continued. After some time, we finally got the desired fine pieces. Most of the remaining steps were transferring to centrifuge tubes, incubating, centrifugation, etc. he handled. I just… observed.
At the end of practice, while we were packing up, removing lab coats, he said, “How was today’s morning ride? Next time we’ll come running.”
And he laughed. I replied, “You are such an Ostrich.”
Our classmates sitting nearby started laughing too. That moment felt light.
Later at night, while washing dishes, I came across an audiobook—The Cancer Code. It caught my attention, so I saved it for later. Some things are meant for another day.
Meanwhile, our CA2 product group was active. Tissue shared a PPT made by her cousin on products like face wash and lip serum. She asked everyone for opinions, whether we should go ahead with it or not. The group got flooded with responses. Everyone shared something except Dragon. Because, as always, she went completely off-topic and shared a docking report instead. I laughed. Honestly, it wasn’t even surprising. It was just… her being her.
The Christmas holidays are from 25/12/2025 to 31/12/2025.
24 December 2025 (Wednesday) : Some Days Are Better Left Unwritten
“Have you ever had a day you could describe… but chose not to?”
Today was one of those days.
College was from 8:15 am to 12:00 pm. A normal schedule. But I didn’t attend. I had to go to the hospital. And that’s all I want to say about it. Not because I can’t explain… but because some things feel too heavy when turned into words. Sometimes, it makes me think that dying would be much better instead of living via medicine. So, I’ll leave it exactly there.
By evening, things shifted back to the usual flow. HOD ma’am texted that CA1 will be from 19 January 2026. Another date and another thing to prepare for. Life doesn’t really pause, even when you feel like it should.
I continued with my evening chores—preparing dinner, doing the usual work. At night, after dinner, I decided to listen to an audiobook while washing dishes. I found one book that caught my attention. But it was premium. So, I switched to another one and listened to that instead.
Simple adjustment.
25 December 2025 (Thursday) : Holidays Started… But My Work Didn’t
From today onwards, Christmas holidays have officially started. And honestly, it should have felt relaxing. Like a break. Like I could finally slow down a little.
But my day had other plans. Almost the entire day went into writing. Quietly sitting, thinking, typing, rethinking… again and again. It wasn’t tiring in a bad way, but it also didn’t feel like a “holiday” kind of day. It felt more like… a different routine. Somewhere between enjoying it and feeling stuck in it.
By the time evening came, I was still in that same flow when a message arrived from HOD ma’am where she sent a doc file. It was about the steps of the bioinformatics project. I opened it, knowing this wasn’t just “extra information.” This was something important. Something we actually have to follow.
And then came the next part. There will be a lecture tomorrow for demonstration of these bioinformatics steps. And we have to attend it using her Google Classroom… not the EXAM GC. I paused for a second. So… holidays, but also lectures. Break, but also instructions. Rest, but also responsibility. It’s a strange mix.
26 December 2025 (Friday) : Ten Minutes Late… and a Lot More Confused
In the morning, HOD ma’am had scheduled a lecture to explain how to do a bioinformatics research project. It was supposed to start at 8:00 am. And I… woke up late. By the time I joined, I was already 10 minutes late. The first thing I noticed was her message at 8:01 am, “Join fast everyone.”
That line somehow made me sit a little straighter. I immediately joined her Google Classroom, trying to act like I hadn’t just missed the beginning. As the lecture went on, I tried to focus properly. I actually understood some parts—the tools, the steps, the general flow of how things work.
But then came the part that quietly confused me… Genes. Ma’am was using lists of genes for different tools, explaining how to analyze them. And I just kept wondering, where are these lists even coming from? It felt like I had entered a movie halfway through. Everyone else seemed to follow, and I was just trying to connect scenes without knowing the beginning. That’s when it hit me. Maybe those first 10 minutes… mattered more than I thought.
I sat there, half-understanding, half-confused, and fully aware that joining late wasn’t just about missing time, it was about missing context. And for the first time, I actually regretted it. I should’ve been on time.
27 December 2025 (Saturday) : A Quiet Day
I woke up, slowly stepping into the day without any urgency. Did a few morning chores. After that, the day quietly slipped into writing. Almost the whole day. Just sitting, thinking, typing, pausing… and repeating.
By the time evening came, I moved into the usual rhythm again. Did the evening chores, prepared dinner, and then washed the dishes.
28 December 2025 (Sunday) : The Library I Liked… But Couldn’t Join
Today I went to visit a library in my neighbourhood with my brother, Gaajar. I didn’t expect much at first. Just thought—let’s see what it’s like. But when I entered, I paused. It was a 24×7 open library. Clean, quiet, and honestly… kind of perfect. It had everything—Wi-Fi, washroom, drinkable water, all the basic things you actually need to sit and study for long hours. It wasn’t just for college students, university students, entrance exam students, everyone could use it.
And the best part? The fee was affordable.
For a moment, I could actually imagine myself sitting there, studying peacefully, writing, focusing… without distractions.
I liked it. So I decided—I’ll ask Papa in the evening.
Evening came and I asked. But he said NO. He suggested that I should only use the college library instead of joining an external one.
I didn’t say much after that. And I don’t want to mention anything more about that discussion. Not because there’s nothing to say… but because I understood what he meant. Sometimes, explanations are not needed when the meaning is already clear.
Still, I sat there for a while thinking. I know my father is strict. But sometimes, it feels like he is being overprotective. And I don’t know what exactly to blame… the situation, the rules, or just the way things are. So I let it go.
At night, around 9:45 pm, Mice texted me,
Mice: IDC ke assignment me kya karna hai?
Me: Konsa assignment? Kab diya? Mereko kyu nahi pata bhai?
Mice: GC check kar?
Me: wait, maine GC recently joined karke chhod diya.
Mice: same here, due date 10 Jan hai.
Me: Arre, bahut time hai.
That moment felt a little funny. Because… deadline door hai. Some habits never change.
