Weekly Diary : Week 28
15 December 2025 (Monday) : The Plan I Was Sure About… Until One Message Changed It
“Have you ever decided something so firmly… and then changed your mind in just one minute?”
That was me today. It started as a completely normal college day. Nothing unusual—just lectures, notes, and the usual quiet chaos that somehow feels routine now. By afternoon, the HOD ma’am sent tomorrow’s timetable—8:30 to 11:05—and mentioned round 2 paper showing.
And my first thought? Nope. Not going. I didn’t want to see my answer sheet. Honestly, I didn’t have the emotional energy to look at whatever I had written. Some things are better left unseen, right? But then… quietly, almost like a whisper I didn’t ask for, a thought came—I think I’ve passed.
So I made my decision. I wasn’t going tomorrow…or at least, I thought it was.
A few minutes later, a message popped up which was a text from Mice. I didn’t even need to read it fully to understand. She was panicking. You can always tell. The way messages come in quick bursts, the slightly rushed tone… it’s almost visible through the screen.
She asked if I had seen her answer sheet too. I paused. I mean, I didn’t have any problem checking it for her. But the practical part of my brain quietly added, Will the faculty even allow that?
Still… I said yes. And just like that, my very firm decision of not going tomorrow… changed. Meanwhile, she had her own worries. What if the faculty scolds her for missing round 2 paper showing? Which, honestly, didn’t make much sense to me. She has gone through a major surgery. Her body is still recovering. And after almost six months, she just got her periods—and it’s been really heavy for her.
If there’s ever a situation where understanding is expected… this is it. But panic doesn’t listen to logic.
She kept asking questions, one after another. And me? I didn’t have big answers or perfect reassurances. Just one line, repeated in slightly different ways, “They’ll understand. Don’t worry.”
Sometimes, that’s all you can offer. Not solutions, not guarantees, just a little steadiness when someone else feels like they’re spiraling. I thought today was about avoiding an answer sheet. Turns out, it was about showing up for someone instead.
16 December 2025 (Tuesday) : The Answer Sheet I Didn’t Want to See… But Did Anyway
Today the college started early from 08:30 am to 12:35 pm. A regular schedule on paper, but my mind was already busy planning what not to do. Today was Round 2 paper showing, scheduled from 12:30 to 01:30 pm.
We had a theory lecture from 08:30 to 10:00 am, then a 20-minute break, and then practical. Everything was moving normally, but inside, I was quietly avoiding one thing—my answer sheet. Even though Mice had asked me to check her paper too if possible, I just… wasn’t in the mood.
Then Tissue came in with her usual straightforward logic, “Go and see it, or ma’am will call you out.”
And honestly, she had a point. Still, I tried to hold on to my decision. I mean, I hadn’t attended a single paper showing in FY or SY… and I was planning to maintain that tradition in TY as well. (Yes, not all traditions are worth keeping, but we realize that later.)
But life has its own timing. Luckily—or unluckily, depending on how you see it—paper showing happened during practical itself. Today’s practical was about protoplast fusion, and we had to observe it under a microscope. So, between adjusting lenses and pretending to understand what I was seeing, paper showing quietly slipped into the same time.
And then ma’am called out— “Roll number 10.”
My roll. number. I paused for a second. Deep down, I had this small belief—I’ll pass somehow.
But there was still that tiny voice—What if I don’t? So yes, I was calm… but also slightly stressed. A very balanced kind of overthinking.
I went, saw my answer sheet… and for a moment, I just stared. Wait… what? I was genuinely shocked.
The next second, I almost ran to Tissue and said, “Maa kasam, kya marks diya hai ma’am ne!”
She looked at me like her life depended on it, “Kitna mila? Pass hai ki nahi? Round 3 ki naubat to nahi aayegi na?”
And I couldn’t help but smile, “Nahi nahi… pass hoon.”
That moment felt… light. The kind that comes when your quiet hope turns out to be true. After hearing my marks, she proudly said, “Chalo, mere padhaye hue bachhe pass ho gaye.”
Indirectly, she meant all of us—me, Mice, and Dragon. She’s the one who saves us during last-minute revisions, shares notes, and somehow manages to make things make sense.
Though today, both Mice and Dragon were absent. And as expected, ma’am didn’t allow anyone to see the papers of absent students. Which meant… I couldn’t check Mice’s paper. I still don’t know how she scored.
In the middle of all this, I got called by our class teacher and I got to know about my low attendance which basically means I now have to maintain 75% attendance in each subject… or I’ll officially become a defaulter this semester too. At this point, it’s less of a warning and more of a recurring theme in my academic life.
After coming home, I shifted into a completely different world. I watched documentaries on the National Geographic YouTube channel about NSG.vAnd honestly, every second gave me goosebumps.
Later, I ended up watching a podcast of a man who had been part of many operations, even with NSG. A leader. The kind of stories that make you sit still and think, There’s so much more beyond our small daily worries.
Evening came quietly. I made dinner.
Then I thought of working on my Food Processing assignment—the chapter on fermentation. Ma’am had already sent the format, so I opened the doc file, ready to edit and organize it.vOut of habit, I checked Google Classroom. And for once… it brought good news. The due date was postponed. The funny part? The original due date was 14/12/2025, and now it’s 20/12/2025. I don’t know why, but that small extension felt like a personal victory.
And finally, I ended the day by working on my RS story. A quiet ending… after a slightly unexpected day.
17 December 2025 (Wednesday) : The Day I Took Notes… But Not Understanding
The day started with online lectures from 8:30 to 11:05. I was there, present, listening… or at least appearing to listen. Today’s Biostatistics lecture had formulas and practice questions.
And like a responsible student, I did what I do best—I took screenshots. Every important formula. Every question.
Because if I’m being honest, I didn’t understand everything. I just made sure I had it saved. As if my gallery would magically solve it later.
After the lecture ended, my phone buzzed. It was Tissue. She texted:“GP sir ke questions solved kiye hai to send karo, maine solve karne ka try kiya tha but unfortunately failed.”
I stared at the message for a second. Then replied honestly—because there was no point pretending: “Maine sirf note down kiya hai… I mean, SS liye hai. Aur sirf first one hi solve kiya hai… wo bhi galat.”
Her reply? “Us moment.”
And I couldn’t help but smile. Because that one phrase perfectly summed up both of us. Trying… but not quite getting there. Saving things… but not really solving them. Being students… in the most real and imperfect way.
The rest of the day went by quietly. Just a normal flow.
And then, around 8 pm in the evening, just when the day was almost over and my brain had officially shut down—Ma’am texted at 7:55 pm: Tomorrow’s reporting time is 9:00 am.
I just looked at the message and thought five minutes earlier would’ve been nice… but okay. Just a silent acceptance of student life, where plans are flexible, but timings are not.
18 December 2025 (Thursday) : The Day My Body Said “No”… And I Finally Listened
Today was one of those days where my body didn’t even give me a choice. I woke up feeling sick where everything feels off. And as if that wasn’t enough, my periods decided to arrive in the morning too. Perfect timing.
So, for once, I didn’t overthink it. I didn’t try to push through. I just… didn’t go to college.
Around 10:45 am, ma’am texted on the official TY BT group. All students have to pay ₹350 for the journal by Saturday, 20/12/2026. After that, it increases to ₹400.
I read the message, mentally noted it, and went back to doing absolutely nothing—which, surprisingly, felt productive today.
Tomorrow’s college timing is from 11:00 am to 2:45 pm. Not that it mattered much… because I already knew I wouldn’t be going.
At night, around 10 pm, Tissue texted me:
Tissue: kal ka kya plan hai
Me: I will not be able to come to college tomorrow, hospital jaana hai… and on top of that, periods aa gaye.
Even while typing that, I realized something—I usually try to adjust everything around college.
Then came another message on the group: “Reminder for tomorrow: bring journal fees ₹350, gloves (if you don’t wanna touch chicken liver), SD homework.”
And the moment I read chicken liver, my brain paused. Wait… what experiment is that? For a second, curiosity showed up. The kind that makes you imagine the whole practical—gloves, reactions, that slightly uncomfortable feeling of touching something you’d rather not.
But then reality stepped in. It doesn’t matter. I’m not going tomorrow.
19 December 2025 (Friday) : The Day I Skipped… and the Tomorrow I Can’t Escape
Today, I didn’t go to college.
Around 6:48 pm, a message came—tomorrow’s lecture adjustment. Timing: 11:00 am to 2:00 pm.
I stared at it for a few seconds. My first reaction was very clear, I don’t want to go. Not because something is wrong. Just… no mood. But then reality quietly entered the conversation… Journal fees.
If I don’t go, I’ll have to pay a penalty. And suddenly, my peaceful rebellion against college turned into a practical decision.
So, with very little enthusiasm and a lot of acceptance, I decided that okay, I’ll go tomorrow. Not for knowledge, not for attendance. Just… for fees.
I texted Tissue:
Me: soch rahi hu kal college jaau
Tissue: I am planning not to come.
I paused. Of course. The day I convince myself to go… she decides not to. For a second, I just stared at the chat and thought now I’ll be lonely too.
20 December 2025 (Saturday) : Showing Up Anyway
Today was the third day of my periods, and the flow was heavy. Honestly, I didn’t want to go to college. Not even a little. I looked at today’s timetable and felt even less motivated. And usually, that’s enough reason for me to consider staying home.
But then came the practical side again… Penalty fee. That one word has a special talent—it can instantly turn “I don’t want to go” into “Okay fine, I’ll go.”
Interestingly, Mice felt the same. She didn’t want to come either. For a moment, it felt comforting—like we were silently agreeing on the same mood. And then, just like responsible students (or financially cautious ones), we both ended up coming to college anyway. Tissue was absent today. Which meant one less familiar face, one less layer of comfort.
But at least I wasn’t completely alone. Me and Mice went to the fee counter together. We paid the fees. Task done.
By the time night came, my body clearly decided it had tolerated enough for the day. Back pain. The kind that doesn’t let you sleep no matter how many times you turn around trying to find the “perfect” position.
So after trying, failing, and accepting my fate… I gave up on sleep. Instead, I sat up and started working on some writing. The same day that started with “I don’t want to do anything” ended with me doing something I actually care about.
21 December 2025 (Sunday) : The Message That Turned a Normal Day Into “Bring Food Tomorrow”
Today started like any other normal routine. I wasn’t expecting anything new. And then, one message arrived.
CR texted on the OFFICIAL MESSAGE group—
“All the groups have to bring the food items as selected tomorrow.”
I read it once. Then again. It was for a sensory evaluation experiment under our specialization subject—Food Processing and Analysis. Which, in theory, sounds quite interesting. You know, analyzing taste, texture, maybe even pretending to be a food critic for a while.
